Feedback is only useful once it becomes an action you can carry out on a particular sentence. This lesson shows how to turn a general comment into a place, a change and a test.
The skill matters in coursework and in exam preparation, wherever a teacher or a mark scheme comment points to a weakness. It sits at the start of the self-review and feedback use module.
Why do comments feel unhelpful?
Comments are short because teachers mark many scripts. “Vague”, “drifts” and “develop” each point at a pattern, not at a sentence. The work of finding the sentence, and deciding what to change, is yours.
Think of a satnav that says “wrong direction”. You still need it to name the turning. A revision action is the turning.
How to convert a comment, step by step
- Copy the comment exactly, next to the line or paragraph it belongs to.
- Find the evidence. Reread the paragraph and underline the words that caused the comment.
- Name the cause in your own words, such as “no example”, “two ideas in one sentence” or “opening sentence does not state the point”.
- Write the action in the form: In [place], [change], so that [effect].
- Set a test. Decide how you will check the change worked, for instance by asking whether a stranger could repeat the point after one reading.
Worked example
A student writes a paragraph for a speech arguing that the school day should start later. The teacher’s comment is: “Your argument drifts.”
Many students feel tired in the morning. Buses are also crowded at that time, and some canteen food is too expensive. Sleep is important for health, so a later start would be better for everyone.
Step 1, the comment: “Your argument drifts.”
Step 2, the evidence: the paragraph begins on tiredness, moves to buses, then canteen prices, then returns to sleep. The middle two sentences introduce ideas that do not support the claim about a later start.
Step 3, the cause: there is no single point, so each sentence follows a new thought.
Step 4, the action: In this paragraph, keep only tiredness and sleep, delete the bus and canteen sentences, and add one specific example of tiredness, so that every sentence supports the claim that a later start helps learning.
Step 5, the test: read each sentence and ask “does this help prove that a later start helps learning?” Delete any that do not.
Revised paragraph:
Many students arrive at first lesson too tired to concentrate. A class that stays awake only until the second bell has lost a full hour of learning. Teenagers need more sleep than adults, so a later start gives the brain time to work when the lessons begin.
The revision is about the same length but each sentence carries the same idea forward.
The mistake to watch for
A common slip is to rewrite the comment as a wish instead of an action.
Weak action: “Make my argument stronger.”
This is just the comment turned inside out. It has no place, no change and no test, so you will reread the paragraph and do nothing different.
The correction is to ask “which sentence, and what would I write instead?” If you cannot answer, go back to step 2 and find the evidence.
Check yourself
Turn each comment into an action using the place, change and test pattern.
1. Comment on a descriptive paragraph: “Too general.” The sentence reads: The market was busy and noisy.
Show answer
One possible answer: In the first sentence, replace “busy and noisy” with one sound and one movement the narrator notices, so that the reader can picture the scene. Test: could a reader tell this market from any other market?
Example revision: Stallholders shouted prices over the clatter of crates while shoppers squeezed between the fruit tables.
2. Comment on a letter: “Wrong tone.” The closing line is: Send me a refund immediately. The letter is to a shop manager.
Show answer
Action: In the closing sentence, replace the demand with a polite, specific request, so that the tone suits a formal letter. Test: would the manager feel addressed respectfully?
Example revision: I would be grateful if you could refund the full price of the item.
3. Which of these is a usable action? (a) “Improve my introduction.” (b) “In the opening sentence, state the viewpoint I will argue, so that the reader knows my position straight away.”
Show answer
(b). It names a place (opening sentence), a change (state the viewpoint) and an effect. Option (a) could apply to any piece and cannot be tested.
Where this leads next
Next, see how to tell whether a change has really helped in comparing two versions of an original paragraph, and learn to check the task first in relevance before surface correctness. The writing revision compare view and the summary selection and paraphrase studio can both support this work.
If you can name a comment’s cause but still cannot decide what to write instead, that is a good place for online one-to-one English First Language tuition, because a teacher can model the choice on your own sentence.