Dialogue that reveals lets the reader work out a feeling from what characters say, avoid and do. Dialogue that explains has the characters state the feeling outright, as if for the reader’s benefit.
This skill comes after sequence in narrative design because dialogue works well inside a moment you have already chosen to stretch. It is useful in every story task in IGCSE First Language English 0500.
Why does explaining weaken dialogue?
People rarely say exactly what they feel, especially under pressure. They talk about something next to the feeling: a suitcase, the time, the food. When characters state their emotions in full sentences, the scene sounds staged and the reader has nothing left to work out.
How do you rewrite explaining dialogue?
- Name the feeling in one word, for yourself. For example, hurt.
- Find an object or a task near the scene that the feeling can attach to.
- Let the character talk about that object instead of the feeling.
- Add an action or a pause that shows the gap between words and feeling.
- Trim the tags. Use said or no tag when it is clear who speaks.
Worked example
Situation: Farid has won a place at a boarding school. His sister Nadia is hurt that he did not tell her first.
Explaining version:
“I am sad you are leaving and I am angry that you did not tell me first,” said Nadia. “I am sorry, I was nervous and I did not know how to say it,” said Farid.
Step 1, feeling. Nadia’s feeling is hurt.
Step 2, object. The suitcase on his bed.
Step 3 and 4, rewrite with action.
Nadia stood in the doorway and watched him fold a shirt. “That’s the big suitcase.”
“The other one has a broken zip.”
“Mum’s suitcase.” She picked up a sock from the floor and held it out. “You found out on Tuesday, didn’t you? Mrs Rahim’s daughter told me.”
Farid took the sock without looking at her. “I was going to say.”
Step 5, check. Nobody says hurt or sorry, but Nadia’s interest in the suitcase, her reference to Tuesday and Farid’s failure to look at her show the feeling. The reader completes it.
The mistake to watch for
A common slip is to write characters who share information they both already know, just for the reader.
Mistaken version: “As you know, Dad, I failed my maths test and you will be disappointed,” said Sara.
Real people do not say what both of them know. The correction is to let the situation show it: Sara slides the test paper under her plate, and her father turns it over without a word. The silence now carries what the sentence used to tell.
Check yourself
1. Which line reveals and which explains? (a) “I’m jealous because you always get picked.” (b) “Funny, they always seem to pick you.”
Show answer
(a) explains: it names the feeling. (b) reveals: the jealousy sits in the tone and the word always, and the reader infers it.
2. Rewrite to reveal: “I am nervous about tomorrow’s audition,” said Lina.
Show answer
Many versions work. For example: Lina checked her bag for the third time. “Did you say the bus leaves at seven, or half past?” The repeated checking and the repeated question show nerves without naming them.
3. A character is lying about where she was last night. Give one action that could sit beside her words.
Show answer
She talks too quickly and straightens the same cushion twice, or she answers a question that was not asked. Any small, specific action that does not match her calm words will work.
Where this leads next
With speech under control, move on to building tension without unnecessary incidents. The mixed practice set includes dialogue rewrites, and the writing revision compare view lets you put your explaining draft next to the revealing one.
If your dialogue feels flat but you cannot say why, a teacher in online one-to-one English First Language tuition can read it aloud with you and mark where the feeling is stated instead of implied.