正式程度,指的是选择适合读者的称呼、结尾敬语和用词层次。朋友、老师、校长和公司经理各自期待的略有不同,用错层次,即使内容正确,邮件也显得不够用心。
怎样判断合适的层次?
下笔前先问两个问题:读者是谁?你和他有多熟?朋友或表亲用非正式的写法;老师、校长、图书馆员或经理用正式或礼貌的写法。
任务通常会说明读者是谁。如果没说,就选礼貌的写法,因为礼貌很少被扣分。
非正式和正式有哪些区别?
| 项目 | 非正式(朋友) | 正式(老师、校长、机构) |
|---|---|---|
| 称呼 | Hi Farah, / Dear Farah, | Dear Mr Tan, / Dear Sir or Madam, |
| 开头句 | I hope you are well. | I am writing to ask about… |
| 缩写 | can’t, I’m, we’ll | cannot, I am, we will |
| 请求 | Can you send me…? | Could you please send me…? |
| 结尾句 | See you soon! | I look forward to your reply. |
| 结尾敬语 | Love, / Best wishes, / Take care, | Yours sincerely, / Yours faithfully, |
例题
为本页编写的任务:“You want to borrow the school hall for a club meeting. Write an email to the principal, Mrs Lim. Say what the club does, when you need the hall and how many students will come.”
第 1 步,读者: 校长,所以用正式写法。
第 2 步,称呼: “Dear Mrs Lim,“,因为知道名字。
第 3 步,带目的的开头句: “I am writing to ask whether our Chess Club may use the school hall next month.”
第 4 步,用礼貌语言写内容: “We meet to practise and to organise small tournaments. We would need the hall on Friday 12 March from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. About thirty students will attend.”
第 5 步,结尾句与敬语: “I would be grateful for your reply. Yours sincerely, Hakim Ismail”
整封邮件读起来是这样:
Dear Mrs Lim,
I am writing to ask whether our Chess Club may use the school hall next month. We meet to practise and to organise small tournaments. We would need the hall on Friday 12 March from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., and about thirty students will attend.
I would be grateful for your reply.
Yours sincerely, Hakim Ismail
没有缩写,没有俚语,也没有感叹号。请求很有礼貌,结尾敬语与称呼相配。
要留意的错误
常见的失误是开头很正式,结尾却很随意,或者反过来。
有问题的草稿: “Dear Mrs Lim, I’m writing ‘cause we wanna use the hall. Cheers, Hakim”
称呼是正式的,但句子用了 “‘cause” 和 “wanna”,而 “Cheers” 是随意的结尾。读者会觉得写信的人没有想过是谁在读。
纠正的方法是整封邮件只为语气再读一遍:把 “‘cause” 改成 “because”,“wanna” 改成 “would like to”,“Cheers” 改成 “Yours sincerely”。
自我检测
1. 哪个结尾敬语与 “Dear Sir or Madam” 相配?
查看答案
Yours faithfully。 称呼里不知道对方名字时,配这个结尾。
2. 改写成适合正式读者的版本:“Hi! Can you tell me when the library opens? Thanks!”
查看答案
“Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to ask when the library opens. Could you please let me know the opening hours? Thank you for your help. Yours faithfully, (name)”
3. 写给一位从未见过的医生,“Hi Dr Wong” 合适吗?为什么?
查看答案
不合适。“Hi” 是非正式的。写给不认识的人的正式邮件,应该用 “Dear Dr Wong”。
接下来学什么
语气确定后,继续学习解释原因而不是罗列事件,然后试做电子邮件写作练习。写作修改对比视图可以让你把非正式和正式两个版本并排对照。
语气有人听会更容易分辨。我们English as a Second Language 线上一对一补习的老师可以把你的邮件读回给你听,并标出语气在哪里变了。