要解释原因,就把发生的事和它为什么发生、为什么重要连起来,用 because、so、since、which means 这类词。事件列表告诉读者事情的先后顺序,原因则告诉读者该怎么想、怎么做。
这项技能建立在涵盖每个要点和选择合适语气之上,属于电子邮件写作单元。
为什么事件列表显得单薄?
大多数邮件任务都会以某种形式要求说明原因:为什么想参加、为什么迟到、为什么对产品不满。只按顺序讲事件的学生,描述了情况,却没有解释。读者只好自己猜其中的联系。
比较 “I missed the bus. I walked. I was late.” 和 “I was late because I missed the bus, so I had to walk.”,事实相同,但第二种让读者明白了因果。
逐步把事件变成原因
- 找出主张。 你要说或要求什么?“I would like a refund.”
- 问”为什么?” 用几个词写下答案:“The jacket is too small.”
- 连接。 选一个连接词:because(原因)、so(结果)、which means(后果)。
- 加一个具体细节。 尺码、日期、价格。细节让原因更可信。
- 删掉不支持原因的事件。 如果一句话只是在讲故事,问问读者是否需要它。
例题
为本页编写的任务:“You bought a school bag online and it arrived damaged. Write an email to the shop manager. Say what is wrong, why you are unhappy and what you want the shop to do.”
事件列表(较弱):
I ordered a bag on 5 May. It arrived on 9 May. I opened the box. The strap was broken. I took a photo. Please help me.
第 1 步,主张: 书包损坏了,我想要一个解决办法。
第 2 步,问为什么: 背带断了;我星期一上学要用这个书包。
第 3 步,连接: “I am unhappy because the strap is broken, which means I cannot use the bag.”
第 4 步,细节: “I need it for school next Monday.”
第 5 步,删减: 日期和照片有用,但可以合并成一句短句。
写出原因的版本:
Dear Manager,
I am writing about the school bag I received on 9 May. The left strap was broken when I opened the box, so I cannot use the bag. I am unhappy because I need it for school next Monday and it cost RM85. I have attached a photo of the damage. Could you please send a replacement, or refund my money if that is not possible?
Yours faithfully, Nadia Rahman
现在每个句子都在把读者引向行动。原因(背带断了、星期一要用、花了 RM85)让请求合理而清楚。
要留意的错误
常见的失误是用了 “because”,后面接的却不是真正的原因。
有问题的草稿: “I am unhappy because I ordered the bag on 5 May.”
日期是事件,不是不满的原因。写的人用了 “because”,却什么也没有解释。
纠正的方法是检验句子:because 后面的部分是否回答了”为什么?“如果没有,就换成真正的原因:“I am unhappy because the strap was broken when it arrived.”
自我检测
1. 把这个列表改成带原因的一句话:“The train was cancelled. I waited. I missed the interview.”
查看答案
“I missed the interview because my train was cancelled and the next one came an hour later.” 另一种正确写法:“My train was cancelled, so I missed the interview.”
2. because 后面哪一项是真正的原因?(a) “because I like to write emails” (b) “because the website has no phone number”
查看答案
(b)。它解释了为什么写邮件而不是打电话。(a) 与情境或请求没有联系。
3. 为这句话补上原因:“I would like to change my lesson to Thursday.”
查看答案
“I would like to change my lesson to Thursday because I have football practice on Tuesday after school.” 任何具体而可信的原因都可以。
接下来学什么
原因和事件都离不开清楚的时间,所以下一课是统一使用时间表达。你可以在电子邮件写作练习中一次测试多项技能。摘要选择与改写工作室能帮你判断哪些细节真正支持你的观点。
如果你口头能解释原因,写出来却不见了,这个差距在现场一对一课堂中很容易看到。我们的English as a Second Language 线上一对一补习能让老师看到这一点。