要涵盖所有要点,就把任务中的每一项变成邮件里清楚的一两句话,每句都带一个具体细节。读者应该不用翻找,就能逐项核对。
这项技能是电子邮件写作单元的基础。内容完整之后,其他技能才能发挥作用。
为什么学生会漏掉要点?
任务通常是一个简短的情境加一份要写的清单。时间紧张时,学生读完情境就开始写话题,清单就被忘了。邮件读起来自然,但读者没有拿到任务要求的信息。
解决办法不是写得更多,而是写之前花三十秒做规划。
逐步涵盖每个要点
- 划出要点。 标出任务要求你说明、询问或解释的每一项,数一数有几项。
- 为每个要点记一个细节。 在页边写两三个词:地点、时间、原因、问题。
- 写一句简短的开头。 一句话说明写给谁、为什么写。
- 每个要点写一两句。 句子开头让要点一目了然,例如 “The meeting will be in the library.”
- 以下一步作结。 读者该做什么或期待什么?
- 对照清单打勾。 用第 1 步数出的数量核对。
例题
为本页编写的任务:“Your school is holding a book sale to raise money for a new sports field. Write an email to your English teacher, Mr Tan. Say: which books you will donate, why you want to help, when you can bring them, and what help you need with transport.”
第 1 步,划出并计数: 四个要点。书、原因、时间、交通。
第 2 步,记下细节: 十二本故事书和两本字典;我们的球场坑坑洼洼;星期三放学后;家里没有车。
第 3 至 6 步,书写:
Dear Mr Tan,
I am writing about the book sale. I would like to donate twelve story books and two dictionaries that I no longer use. I want to help because our sports field is full of holes and students sometimes get injured on it. I can bring the books on Wednesday after school, at about 3.30 p.m. Unfortunately my family has no car, so could you tell me whether a teacher could collect the box from the school gate, or whether I should ask a friend to help me carry it?
Thank you for organising this.
Yours sincerely, Aisyah
四个要点,四个清楚的句子,每句都有细节。读者马上就能采取行动。
要留意的错误
常见的失误是把一个要点写得很丰富,却跳过另一个要点。
有问题的草稿: “Dear Mr Tan, I am so excited about the book sale. I love reading and I have read more than fifty books this year. My favourite is about a girl who sails around the world. I would like to donate some books.”
学生写得很热情,但帮忙的原因含糊,没有时间,也没有提交通。四个要点只回答了一个,而且只答了一半。
纠正的方法是回到四项清单,对每一项问:“这一项在我的邮件哪里?“删掉关于最喜欢的书的细节,换成缺失的要点。
自我检测
1. 任务:“Write to your friend Hana. Say where you will meet, what time the film starts and whether she should bring money.” 列出要点,再用三句话写出邮件中段。
查看答案
三个要点:见面地点、电影开始时间、是否带钱。参考答案:“We will meet outside the cinema entrance at the shopping mall. The film starts at 4 p.m., so please arrive by 3.45 p.m. Bring about RM20 for the ticket and a drink.”
2. 任务要求写日期、地点和价格。下面这段缺了哪一项?“The concert is on 14 March at the town hall. I am sure you will enjoy it.”
查看答案
缺了价格。日期(14 March)和地点(the town hall)都已经写了。
3. 当要点问你带什么时,为什么 “I will bring food” 是较弱的回答?
查看答案
它只说了类别,没有细节。更好的回答会写明是什么食物、多少份,例如 “I will bring a plate of fried noodles for four people”。
接下来学什么
邮件内容完整之后,下一步是让语气符合读者,见选择合适的正式程度来开头与结尾。准备好后,可以用电子邮件写作练习测试整个单元。摘要选择与改写工作室能帮你练习只挑选相关要点。
有些学生平时课堂上规划得很好,一到考试限时就漏掉要点。老师看着你写,很快就能发现这个习惯,这正是我们English as a Second Language 线上一对一补习的用途。