最后的检查,是拿你写好的摘要去对照题目,而不是对照原文。目的是抓出偏离焦点的要点、遗漏的要点、照抄的用词,以及悄悄混进来的意见。
这是摘要的选材与综合的最后一课。它用到前面四课的内容,从选择相关要点一直到保留限定语。
清单是什么样的?
重读题目,然后用五个问题检验摘要:
- 焦点: 每一句是否回答了题目的要求,并且针对题目提到的人?
- 覆盖: 原文中每个主要的相关要点是否都出现了,且只出现一次?
- 自己的话: 有没有整个短语或分句是从原文抄来的?
- 准确: 限定语和数字是否被准确保留?
- 只写原文: 有没有评论、你自己的例子或意见?
例题
阅读下面这段原创短文。
The ferry between the mainland and Pulau Senja runs only twice a day. Fares rose by a fifth in January, and islanders say this makes weekly shopping trips expensive. The boat is old and was built to carry sixty passengers, although it is often asked to carry more in school holidays. Tourists love the lively morning crossing. A council survey found that almost half of the islanders have missed a hospital appointment because the afternoon ferry was cancelled.
题目: Summarise the difficulties the ferry service causes for the islanders.
待检查的草稿:
The ferry is old and runs twice a day, which tourists find lively. Fares went up by a fifth, so shopping is expensive, and it is unfair. Nearly half of the islanders have missed hospital appointments when the afternoon boat was cancelled.
运行清单。
| 问题 | 发现 | 修正 |
|---|---|---|
| 焦点 | “tourists find lively” 不是岛民的困难 | 删去 |
| 焦点 | “old” 说的是船,不是岛民 | 删去,或与影响联系起来 |
| 覆盖 | 每天只有两班、涨价、医院都有 | 没问题 |
| 自己的话 | “runs twice a day” 几乎是整句照搬 | 改成 “only two crossings daily” |
| 准确 | “almost half” 变成 “nearly half”:可以 | 保留 |
| 只写原文 | “it is unfair” 是意见 | 删去 |
修改后: Islanders have only two crossings daily, and a recent fare rise of a fifth makes regular shopping trips costly. Almost half have also missed hospital appointments because the afternoon ferry was cancelled.
要留意的错误
典型的错误,是把原文当作裁判。学生重读草稿,看到每一句都”来自原文”。然后就停下了。
原文并不是检验标准,题目才是。
错误的检查: “All of this is in the text, so it is fine.”
关于游客的那句话确实在原文里,但对这道题来说仍然是错的。
纠正方法是:先把题目大声读一遍,再一句一句读摘要,心里记着题目。对每一句的第一个检验就是 “difficulty for islanders, yes or no?”
自我检测
1. 摘要中有一句:“The council should fund a new ferry.” 题目只问原文对困难的说法。问题在哪里?
显示答案
这是写作者自己的意见或建议,不是原文的要点。它回答的是另一个问题,应该删去。
2. 题目问困难,一位学生写:“The boat is old, carries sixty people, and is often overloaded in school holidays.” 哪一部分对焦点来说最弱?
显示答案
“Old” 和 “carries sixty” 描述的是船。相关的困难是船常被要求载超出设计的人数。这个超载的要点影响岛民,所以保留它,其余压缩。
3. 针对短语 “half the islanders missed hospital appointments”,说出你会问的一个问题。
显示答案
数字保留得准确吗?原文说的是 “almost half”,并且给了原因(下午的渡轮被取消)。限定语和原因都必须出现,否则断言比原文更强,却解释得更少。
接下来学什么
用综合练习把整个单元串起来。写作修改对比视图在这里很有用,它让你把第一稿和第二稿并排摆放,看到自己删了什么、改了什么。
线上一对一 English First Language 补习的老师可以在你做限时摘要时陪你一起做这项检查,并帮你把它变成日常习惯。